BALLS!!!

Now.. did you actually think I was going to write a posting about the balls pictured on the left?
How much fun would that really be?! LOL!

What I'm actually going to tell you folks about is the little mishap that happened this past Friday that I hope to not repeat any time soon! I would also advise for none of you out there to follow in my example, but figured you might enjoy a funny read at my expense! haha!

Ok.. well, the balls that I am referring to are Ben Wa balls, as you can see pictured here:

The particular balls pictured are Adam and Eve's Pleasure Balls, which come nicely concealed in a box that looks much like a box jewelry would come in.

Being a woman who is all about trying new things in the bedroom, I saw these in the store and figured I'd take 'em out for a bouce. (They don't actually bounce, as they are glass. Just a figure of speech people.. gesh.. lol!)

Anywho.. Hubby and I purchased these balls and I looked up how to use them. It said that unless you are experienced with Ben Wa balls, then purchasing a larger sized set would be your best option. The larger balls are less likely to fall out and roll down your leg causing an embarrasing situation. Whew! Glad I purchased the ones that were a bit larger... or so I thought!

I inserted these balls quite hesitantly inside of me and re-adjusted my clothing and off we went for a stroll through Wal-Mart to pick up a few items.

(Somehow hubby thought it would be fun/funny to see if they would fall I guess.)

All throughout the store I did my kegals as I walked, making sure that the balls weren't going to fall out and go rolling down the aisle and hit some poor unsuspecting soul.

I would feel them occasionally, but not as much as I thought I would.

In my mind, I kept thinking of those balls that you hold in your hand and rotate, and I was thinking that my kegal exercises might do something to them similar.

We managed to make it out of the store without one drop of a ball! Woohoo!

We get home and settle in for a nice porn movie. We were watching for just a few moments, and I figured that it was about time to take these little glass balls out.

From what I had read earlier, it had said that you could wear them during sex, but I wasn't quite ready to venture that far, and wanted to take them out before things got all hot and heavy.

The site that I read earlier had removal instructions as well. It said to remove the balls, you needed to put one leg up and cough and the ball would fall right out. I thought this was quite funny indeed, but if that's what it takes.. then I'm game.

So.. I spread my legs apart, pulled my right leg up and coughed. Nothing.

Ok, so I'll try coughing harder. I repeated the stance, but this time coughing harder. Nothing. WTF?!

I then tried a series of coughing, and still nothing.

At this point I was getting a little scared, and I was bound and determined not to be that woman who ends up in the emergency room because she has stuck something up her hoochie coo and can't get it out.

I insert a finger inside trying to feel around for the glass bastards and I don't feel a thing. Where could they have gone??

On the information that I had read earlier, it said that they wouldn't go anywhere, but somehow they managed to find somewhere to go.

So, spread eagle and squatting on the bed Hubby offers his assistance.

I pushed a little and then he inserted a finger (which is much longer than my own). He was able to feel the ball inside, but could not get his finger around it.

I pushed a few more times slightly and he said he could feel it moving down. He then instructed me to push harder.

Here I am, 5 years after delivering my last child and I am now delivering balls!!!

I begin to push, as he is trying to wiggle his finger around the ball that is the closest in proximity and he exclaims... "Oh my.. you just squirted!" I did?! I didn't get any enjoyment out of it! WTH?!

Just then, the ball came out and it was COVERED in milky whiteness! Wow! You couldn't even see the little flower tucked inside the clear glass ball for all the white.

One ball out.. one to go!

We begin the same process of wiggling fingers and pushing and just then I felt like I was gonna pee. I jumped off the bed and not wanting to push the ball out in the toilet and then have to go hand diving for it, I got in the shower and assumed the birthing position.

Plop plop.. and out came the 2nd ball in the same fashion.
We laughed about it until we cried!!!

After reading a bit more about the balls, a beginner is suppose to use the bigger balls because they may not have the muscle control.

Well, it appears that I have She-Ra muscles in the hoochie coo and would be best attempting the smaller balls.

So let that be a lesson to you all.. If you regularly do your kegal exercises and are interested in Ben Wa balls.. then opt for the smaller ones!!!

I'm not sure I'll attempt another set of balls anytime soon, but it was definitely an experience that I will not soon forget!!

I leave you all with this fine "how to" video in usage of Ben Wa balls.. Enjoy!